Why Women Are Sensitive
The skin is the largest organ in the body, measuring around two square yards. Distributed unevenly across it are 2.8 million receptors for pain, 200,000 for cold, and 500,00 for touch and pressure. From birth, girls are dramatically more sensitive to touch, and as an adult, a woman’s skin is the at least ten times more sensitive to touch and pressure than a man’s. One authoritative study found that the boys who tested most sensitive to touch were even less than the least sensitive girls. Female skin is thinner than male skin and has an extra fat layer below it for more warmth in winter and to provide greater protection.
Oxytocin is the hormone that stimulates the urge to be touched and fires up our touch receptors. It’s no wonder that women, with receptors that are ten times more sensitive than men’s attach so much importance to cuddling their men, children, and friends. Our body language research shows that Western women are four to six times more likely to touch another woman in a social conversation than a man is likely to touch another man. Women use a greater range of touch expressions than men, describing a successful person as having “magic touch” and other as being “thin-skinned” or “thick-skinned.” Women love “staying in touch” and dislike those who “get under their skin.” They talk about “feelings,” give someone “the personal touch,” being “touchy” and annoying people by “rubbing them the wrong way.”
A study with psychiatric patients showed that, under pressure men avoid touch and retreat into their own world. More than have half the women in the same test, on the other hand, initiated approaches to men, not for sex but for the intimacy of touch. When a women is emotionally cut off or angry with a man, she is like to respond by saying “Don’t touch me!,” a phrase that has little meaning for men. The lesson? To win points with women, use lots of appropriate touching and avoid groping. To raise mentally healthy children, hug them a lot.
Men Are Thick-Skinned
Men have thicker skin than women, which explains why women get more wrinkles than men. The skin on a man’s back is four times thicker than his stomach skin, a legacy from his four-legged animal past when he needed protection for a rear attack. Most of a boy’s sensitivity to touch is lost by the time he reaches puberty and his body prepares itself tor the rigors of the hunt. Males needed desensitized skin to run through prickly bushes, wrestle animals, and fight enemies without the pain slowing them down. When a man is focused on a physical task or sporting activity, he is unlikely even to be aware of injury
A boy doesn’t really lose skin sensitivity at puberty, it just all goes to one area.
When a man is not focused on a task, his threshold for pain is much lower than a woman’s. When a man moans, “Make me some chicken soup or fresh orange juice, get me a hot water bottle, call the doctor, and make sure my will is in order!,” it usually means he’s got a slight head cold. Men are also less sensitive to a woman who is suffering pain or discomfort. If she’s doubled up in pain, has a temperature of a 104, and is shivering under the blankets, he says “Is everything okay, darling?” but he’s secretly thinking, “If I ignore this, it will go away.”
Men do feel sensitivity, however, when watching football or aggressive sports. If men are watching a boxing match on TV and one of the boxers is felled by a low blow, a woman will say, “Oooh…that must hurt,” while the men groan, double over and actually feel the pain.